Use the picture below to write a 70 word minimum piece of Writing (Remember to rework it so it makes perfect sense)
- You need to use the words - (threatening, magnificent & depth) in your writing
- You must use at least 2 commas
- You need to use 2 short sentences
The waves rocked me up and down, my board slicing along the surface of the water. I looked around. The sea was calm today, but I knew better. At any moment, and wave could arise, and knock me of my board. I waited. The sea birds cried above me, and a gentle breeze blew through my hair. Then, out of the blue, a wave. But something was wrong. A black shape, surging towards me on the crest of the wave. Then it was upon me. It rose above me, threatening to collapse on me, but it didn't. I rocked over the wave, turning to follow the creature. It dived out of the wave, and circled just below. Huge. Majestic. Beautiful. But as soon as it had appeared, it vanished back into the depth of the ocean. Gone.
ReplyDeleteHolly Inglis, Room 11
I ride on up to the magnificent blue and green waves they rock me side to side. I look up at muggy sky to see a flock of pesky seabirds. They screech at me. Is it a warning? Is it a sign? I look back at the waves to only see a threatening charcoal shadow, I swim closer but as I approach it, it swims off into the depth of the suspicious blue blanket.
ReplyDeleteBye Shay room 17
I looked around at the calm water, searching for danger, as I lay on my board. I could sense it. And then I saw it. The threatening but magnificent shape loomed in the depth of the ocean, waiting, eagerly waiting, like a true hunter... I could do nothing to move. All I could do was lie as still as possible and wait as the shape circled me, looking for a key weakness. I feared I would not return this time. But as I looked into the depths of the ocean below at the shape, I saw a mysterious red glow emanate from the areas on the shape where the eyes would usually be, for it was shaped like a shark. But I wasn't sure if they were actually eyes. As the shape angrily swam away, I wondered: Will I see that again?
ReplyDeleteFear. It ricocheted up and down my spine. The creature rolled under my board. I yelled for help, but my voice was lost in the waves. I was out of my depth. Death felt imminent. The shark exploded from the water like coke from a shaken cola bottle. It was magnificent, yet terrible. My board was completely and utterly obliterated. Then I thought I could hear muffled voices. "Is it life threatening?" "I am afraid so". Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of my 11 month old who had been playing on the beach. Then my world went black.
ReplyDeleteAaron Keegan. Room one.
I could see the curving shark fin in the depths below me. It was magnificent but extremely freaky at the same time. Right now I was sitting on top of my board not moving. If I moved a muscle while the shark was around the outcome would not be good. One move of a muscle from me and the shark would turn around and would snap me up in one go. That would be his entree for dinner. I would call this shark threatening! No kidding, this was not fun. I could think of my family sitting at home waiting for me to come home. Still the shark didn't go away. This shark was frustrating! It was really annoying now that it hadn't moved, yet I suspect it wasn't going to. But then it swam across to me looking straight into my eyes…
ReplyDeleteBy Oliver Rm 2
The sun glared at me through the green wave. My hair was filled with sand and seaweed. I fell as the magnificent wave crashed into the side of me. My board slipped out from underneath me, as I fell backwards, a shadow flew across the wave. It dived down into the depths. I clambered onto my board as I worriedly looked around. I had a feeling. A feeling that made my blood run cold.
ReplyDeleteThat feeling, I was being watched. A threatening pair of eyes loomed within the water. Something brushed my leg. All of a sudden a searing pain shot up my leg. I was submerged. It all went black.
By Ashley Wanders Rm10
My board and I were out in the depths of a magnificent Hawaii beach. Far back on the sand the judges were whispering. They bunched together like a well oiled machine, everything in it's correct place. Presumably they were talking about me. I didn't care. I was happy. Suddenly I noticed something beneath me, it's sleek body streaking through the sparkling blue. A threatening figure encased in the water below. It's fin surfaced. Shark. I started paddling as frantically as I could back to the shore. The fin was gaining on me. I realised I had no other option. I stopped paddling. Everyone on the shore gasped, waiting for the shark to leap out me, mouth wide open. It didn't happen. I knew why. Do you?
ReplyDeleteI slowly paddled out into the magnificent blue sea. Hoping for the perfect wave, I got it. But something else came with it. Something huge. Something threatening. Its going to kill me, I'm just food to it. I can't do anything about it I'm a goner. Big black eyes stare at me waiting for me to make my move first. Then it jumps I start paddling towards land. The warning siren goes off to get everyone out of the water. I was all alone. Out on the great blue ocean. People watching from the beach.Waiting. Wait the sharks gone, I don't know where it is. Then all of a sudden I get pulled into the depth of the ocean. Gasping for air before my world goes black.
ReplyDeleteRylee Hammond, Room 11
As I skimmed over the waves I saw a streak of silver in the water, then again. At first I didn't know what startled the fish but then I saw it. It startled me so much that I fell off my surfboard down into the water. Then I saw it again. A big threatening shark lunged at me. The next thing that I knew I was being pulled and tugged at my leg, then I was going down, down, down. The depth was the worst part. As I sunk I caught glimpses of magnificent fish swimming by. Then I was rising. Would I make it?
ReplyDeleteJames Merwood, Room 11
The waves thrashed against my board, threatening to take me under. I could hear the crowd shouting out my name, the others far behind me. That's when I saw it. Its magnific shape staring at me through the depth of the ocean. My heart pounded. A shiver ran up my spine. I waited. Suddenly a searing pain shot up my thigh. Fear. Pain. Dark.
ReplyDeleteKaysha
A dolphin! I could see a magnificent dolphin. It beckoned me into the depths of the ocean. I stared at it. The waves crashed over me. Suddenly it seemed closer and much bigger. I started to swim at full pace back to shore but it was no use its threatening shape kept on following.
ReplyDeleteThis is no dolphin.
Nina
Sun + sea + surf = Summer. Rolling waves stretch out like mottled blue and green sheets before me, inviting me to join their dance. A four foot wave comes crashing towards me, foaming like a rabid dog. Most people would have ridden that wave and called it a monster. To me, catching that wave would be like jogging down the street. A challenge is what I need. I manoeuvre around the plastic orange flotation devices that mark the shark nets, and lazily begin paddling into position for the perfect wave. As it surges nearer I notice a shadow in the background. I blink and it’s gone. I scan the wave carefully. A dark flicker from the depths of the ocean catches my eye. I stare intently, searching for anything lurking beneath the shimmering surface. There it is! Horrifyingly magnificent … My only hope of escape is to catch the wave back to shore. I paddle furiously then rise up on my board while keeping my eyes locked on the shark. Everything else becomes a blur. Panic is threatening to take over. I guess it’s true what they say about stranger danger. The beast is playing with me, it mimics my movement. All I can do is watch the sleek, strong muscles powering it through the water, eating up the precious distance between us, drawing closer, closer, closer... I’m so petrified that I fall off my surf board and nearly pass out as the creature opens its mouth. Then it blows a bubble ring and swims through the centre? Ha, it’s a dolphin not a shark! Life is good.
ReplyDeleteNumber 13, number 13 I mutter to myself. It soon goes quiet as the judges call out the scores 6, 7 and 6.5. Then they say contestant number 13 please begin. My heart pounds with excitement as I walk up to the cold foggy water. I lay down on my bright blue surfboard going over in my head the tricks that will get me on the top. I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to win. Opening my eyes my heart skips a beat as a threatening dark outline is in front of me. Could it just
ReplyDeletebe a Nurse Shark I say to myself but the depth of the water
makes it hard to determine what the real size is. I pray that
The shark not hunting for food and if he is im hoping its not
Human. I can't take my eyes of the shark, suddenly the shark
swims of and I shout Magnificent i'm saved. I swim back to shore
and I know this is a story that I will tell to my grandchildren in
the future.
Jessica Hearst Rm 12
The beautifully clear waves carried me up and down, up and down. Children screamed in laughter, and some in terror for what was lurking below. A message seemed to run through everyone, from the buoys to the shore. The alarm rang. The megaphone shouted. The swimmers retreated. The sleek shadow of a shark emerged from the depths, my heart stopped and my body followed. I lay alone in the ocean threatened by a shadow cast beneath me.
ReplyDeleteAs I paddle out onto the clam sea I knew straight away something was wrong. It is a gorgeous day and no one is in thee water. Isn't that a bit odd I thought to myself, But i carried on anyway. When I started paddling onto the water everything was so peaceful. The wind took a gentle breath thropugh my hair as the next wave approached. Then I noticed a black blurry creaturewas drifting closer and closer by the second. It was too late turn and I knew it! As i'm going over the wave the creature come into focus. It was magnificent. Sadly I knew it would be one of last views of the world. In that split second I started to get unstable and tipped into the threatening sea below me. All i'm starting to see in black and blurred. It is getting dark and darker and darker.......
ReplyDelete-Emily Shepherd Room 10
I paddle out into the depth of the ocean getting ready to surf. I’m about to rise on my board but instead come straight back down because what I see is life threatening. A shark a killer from the depths. I hear the gasp from the crowd back on shore, their scream's telling me to come back. But I don't. The magnificent creature is calling me. Slowly I go over to it I see the shark, but not any type of shark. A tiger shark. Just like the one that killed my brother. Fear is what I'm feeling right now there is no other words. I’m going to die just like my brother Jason. No I won’t let this happen but it's too late now. The shark is looming over me ready to bite but no I’m not going down without a fight. So I punch the shark with all my might right in the middle of the nose. Shocked about what just happened the shark dives back into the water and disappears. GONE.
ReplyDeleteSlowly, I paddled out to sea. The waves were magnificently big. My stomach was churning, heart pounding.Fear struck me. A large,threatening shadow was lurking in the huge wave in front of my face. The waves pushed my board to and fro as I stared at the creature. The shark was getting closer. Panicked, I tried to turn my board back to shore. My arms and legs ached as I tried to paddle. The shark turned its big body and faced me.It was inching closer and closer.My vision was blurry. Blackness. I drifted to the depths of the ocean floor.
ReplyDelete-Marissa de Souza Room 12
As my feet hit the cold water, a chill went down my spine. I carried on walking threw the merky water. The wind was cold against my skin, and I was sinking to my ankles with every step I took. When the water got to my waist, I hopped on my board and started paddling. I paddled far into the waves, the wind was flowing through my hair and I felt magnificent! But suddenly I see black clouds crowding in on me, invading my space. They threw lightning at me, threatening to kill. I tried to get back to shore but the waves were getting too big. I was yelling for help but no one was there. Tried waving my arms in the air, it was no hope. It just made me more panicked. And as if that wasn't bad enough. A FIN! This was the moment when I knew that these would be my last thoughts, That the slimy throat of that shark would be my last sight, that my last feeling would be extremely terrified and disapointed in myself. I tried to stay still, but the shark stayed still staring at me. My heart started beating as fast as a drum.The shark started getting closer, the jaws theme song was playing in my head. Deep breath in . . . and out . . . Then I let my self go. Hours later I woke up with life guards crowding. Half awake, the next few hours were a blur. I dont know how they got to me in time. Although half if my limb is gone, my heart is still beating, and I'm living through the pain, lucky to be alive.
ReplyDeleteSabina Misa rm 11
The waves were magnificent. I'm surfing to calm me down.Then it rises from the water before I realize what's happening. The beast jumped out of the water, threatening me. My surf board tips over, pushing me into the depth of the sea. As I get to the surface, I get pulled under and a sharp pain runs up my spine. I finally get some air and I try kicking a little to keep me up, but it doesn't work. I go back under, slipping in and out of consciousness. Then the darkness takes over me.
ReplyDeleteThe waves are waiting, harsh and threatening, begging for a fight. I came here looking for a challenge, so I’m not giving up easily. With my surfboard under my arm, and not a doubt in my mind, I sink my feet into the depth of the sand. My body thinks faster than my mind, and I find myself racing toward the sea, bringing myself closer and closer to the verge of the shore. Plunging into the water, my surfboard collides with the waves. I swim further, struggling to stay clear of the ocean current. The weather being worse than ever, it leaves me in a war against the waves, which are only growing bigger and bigger. Still attempting to battle the ocean, I can barely grip my surfboard. I’m trying to stay calm, but it’s hard when you’re mind is going wild. A murky figure abruptly approaches me from underneath.Though the creature is blurred, it wouldn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that it’s a shark. I’m trying to work out what to do. I’m in the middle of the ocean. There’s a million different ways to go, but there’s also a million things that could stop me. Battling the waves isn’t going to get me anywhere, but I realize that if I can’t stop the waves, I’ll have to ride them. In a few attempts, I stand up, and begin to go with the flow. The shark is already out of sight, and so are all of my worries. I’m riding every wave as if it’s my last. Completely lost in the magnificent moment, I have blocked out the rest of the world, and I feel infinite.
ReplyDeleteTime expires, and what’s left of the sunlight fades. One by one, the bay clears out, leaving me all alone in my paradise. All waves disappear, so I lie down on my surfboard, gliding in harmony with the calm surface. My mind is clear, and I’m thinking, “This is what I live for”.
Sofia Misa Rm 12
The wave's, tossing and turning in the great blue ocean, sucked me in and spat me out. I ducked as my surf board flew out of the wave behind me. The wave suck's me in again. As I surface, I notice a ripple coming towards me, slowly followed by a silver fin emerging from the deep blue. I already knew the depth of ocean could hold a lot of threatening creatures, but this one seemed to big to hide. I dive to my left, begging for it to miss. Scales narrowly skimmed my foot. I noticed my surfboard floating in the ocean, about 20 meters away. I used the waves to push me to surf board and started to make my way back to the beach.
ReplyDeleteSam Le Quesne, Room 10
I see something,So Narrow.
ReplyDeleteI paddle up to it to see where it will take me.
I saw it,from far away it looked magnificent
I felt a tight grip.
Something started pulling me under.
I tried to stay up because I know the depth of the water is what no human can handle.
I was pulled.
5,4,3,2...1 I took a huge breath whilst is tugged me under the water.
All I knew was I did not have long.
The threatening animal pulled me.
I was so far under that i didn't believe it.
I knew I had to think fast
I slam my body up against this giant shark.
I slap is nose,2 seconds later I felt faint.
This thing was not giving up,I thought to myself...Should I?
No.I shoved my leg in its stomach.
It released.
I swam as fast as i could.
I reached shore
My feet glided across the sand.
I sunk my hand in the sand.It calmed me down.
From shore I saw that Shark swim.
Not angry,Not sad I knew that's what they do.
I clear my mind.
I fall.
*Black*
Giuls Gocht Rm 12
This is a really, really late entry but I'm just doing this for fun. It's long as well. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWater’s lapping weakly at my ankles, barely five inches high. The sun’s out, after months of waiting - the fog’s cleared. It’s still hard to see, but since it’s summer and over sixteen degrees, we’re allowed to swim, surf and fish without getting hypothermia or be ground into a mince-like substance on the bottom of a yacht. Almost everything about where we live is extreme - the weather, the amount of layers you have to put on to step outside, the high number of tourists - I could name a lot. A few of these things are the reason we’re - our country - is noticed, the main one being our marine life, the ‘endangered’ species at their most.
My yellow surfboard doesn’t stand out in the water as much as usual. It’s one of the warmer and brighter years in both attitude and weather, meaning the depth of the water has increased significantly. Many have said that it’s threatening our houses and wildlife. Things on land, basically. It’s stupid. That we’re worried, I mean. Other countries have bigger problems. Like crazy politicians and pollution.
Water’s surrounding me completely. The shore’s a few hundred metres away. I usually only get to be within a couple metres of the shark net - It’s on the other side of the beach. The designated swimming area. On days like this, it’s crowded. That’s the only reason I’m away from it, in the middle of the ocean - the risk of being eaten here is about the same as being pushed under the water and drowning at the ‘safe’ beach. It’s happened before.
A huge wave’s coming towards me. I stop paddling and push my stiff body upwards, wrapping my toes around the edge of the board and extending my arms as much as I dare. It’s a few metres away and one of the biggest I’ve come across. I’m inside it. Cutting my way across the water like a pair of scissors. The top half, anyway.
The wave’s coming down onto me faster than I expected and I’ve collapsed onto my board due to shock. I can’t balance anymore. The wave’s an inch from the edge of my board. A couple of centimetres. A millimeter.
It’s crashing onto my back like a miniature meteor. My head’s shaking and everything’s blurry. Blurry with black dots that are connecting and forming as giant wall that’s blocking my field of vision.
(part one)
(part two)
ReplyDelete********
I’m shivering on top of a small cluster of sharp brown rocks with a growling stomach and a killer headache. Out of pure curiosity, I bring my shaking hand up to my forehead. It’s damp and, when I pull it down from the liquid, covered in blood. I reach for my surfboard while cleaning my hand in a rock pool. It’s gone. I find myself jolting my worthless neck to the side, examining the beachside. I’m less than a hundred metres away from the shore. Another excruciating turn of my neck. There’s a oval-shaped slab of wood impaled on the tip of another ridiculously sharp rock. A surfboard. All of my injuries are minor. Swimming towards it is an option. It’ll be faster and safer to paddle to shore on it - I won’t collapse and the cold won’t impact me as much.
After pushing myself onto my uncooperative legs, I lunge towards the board. Another cut. On my thigh. At this rate, I’ll die from blood loss.
The board’s locked into my palm, my fingers whiter than before. I shift my body back onto it, ignoring the hole. The pressure of the water on my chest where the wood it missing makes me feel like I’m being crushed by concrete. I continue despite the magnificent pain in my head - no. Everywhere. I ache everywhere.
My hands dig into the water. I never give up. That’s what I’m known for.
I’m a meter from the sand, gasping for air. Running onto the hot ground. I’ve collapsed and am screaming. Screaming for help. For someone, just someone, to notice me. Right now, my desperation is beyond words.
There are footsteps in the distance. I sit up, only to fall back down. I’ve lost too much blood.
There are people picking me up. Two, I think. They tilt my head up slightly and the last thing that I see is horrifying.
A shark, its body sleek and large. Swimming around in my blood.